Should you leave your job?

If you are reading this post, chances are that you are already fed up with the situation at your current job - and you are ready to look for a new employer. Maybe you took a job knowing it wasn’t a good fit but needed the money or health insurance. Maybe you thought you were accepting your dream job but have become disillusioned. Maybe there were some red flags that you ignored because they seemed tolerable…until they weren’t. Regardless of why, you have decided you have strong business, professional, or personal reasons for leaving your current job.

First, I want to acknowledge that leaving a job is a privilege. Not everyone has the resources to leave a position. If you’re supporting your family, have no savings, or have health issues that require good insurance leaving might not be an option. If this is the case, that is more than ok. You might remind yourself that just because you are “stuck” at this job for now, that doesn’t mean you will always be there. In the meantime, what would make the job more tolerable?

When You Can’t Leave

Reflect on what specifically you don’t like about your job. Is it the company culture? Is it the people you serve? Do you lack the skills or resources needed to do your job well? Are you at a desk all day when you’d rather be outside? Is the job mind numbingly boring?

Ask yourself what would need to happen for your job to be better. You don’t need to love or like your work, but more simply what would make it more bearable? What would reduce the sense of dread that comes up when you think about your work?

It may help to take the perspective of what you would suggest to a friend in your situation. Assuming you aren’t the type of person who invalidates your friends (“Stop complaining and be grateful you have a job”), what would your most loving self say to them? Can you turn that same love and compassion towards yourself? Validate that it is really hard to spend so much of your time at a job that you don’t like. From there, ask yourself what you need. How can you potentially get these needs met?

Getting your needs met might look like:

· Asking a trusted person for advice

· Talking to a supervisor about your concerns

· If you prefer working independently, can you work remotely?

· If you prefer working around others, is there a way to make your job more social?

· Changing to a different shift

· Cultivating connection by befriending co-workers

· Setting a timer to remind you to take regular breaks

· Creating systems to keep you organized

· Looking into other positions at the organization

· Using your sick and vacation days

When You Feel Ambivalent About Leaving:

You may feel deeply unsatisfied at work and be in a position to leave but feel ambivalent about doing so. Some employees have a strong resistance to leaving a job that's not working out. Our culture gives us messages that “winners never quit” and productivity as a status symbol. Quitting is hard because it carries an implication that you gave up, did not try hard enough, or were not good enough to make it work. In reality, quitting is essential. It’s all about giving yourself permission to quit the right things.

People often stay at the same place for far too long, to the detriment of their growth and their career as a whole. More than a few folks have left a professional job because they felt like they had been doing the same thing too long, wanted to pursue something different, or did not want to deal with the stresses or the traveling in their industry anymore. People quit jobs for all kinds of reasons, but usually, a decision is tied up in demanding bosses, unreasonable deadlines, or a sense that things are never going to improve.

The ”right” thing to quit will depend on what matters to you. If you value a workspace where you are respected but your current environment is toxic, quitting is right. If you value advancement or more money and your current employment has minimal promotions/paltry raises/poor benefits, quitting is right. If you value a calm environment and your current job constantly has you in fight or flight mode, quitting is right. If you value challenges and problem solving but your work is a series of tedious tasks, quitting is right.

Sometimes, it is time to leave, not because you are in the wrong place, but because another opportunity is more “right.” Again, it’s all about naming what matters to you and giving yourself permission to change your mind.

· Name what matters to you. What are your values? Is this job moving you towards or further away from these values?

· Reframe quitting from “I’m giving up” into “I’m leaving behind what no longer works for me”

· It’s ok to change your mind. Wants and values shift over time.

When You’ve Decided to Leave:

Perhaps you’ve tried making the job better and it hasn’t worked, or maybe you’re in a toxic environment. Maybe your values have changed and no longer align with the company. Whatever the reason your intuition is telling you to get out. How do you prepare? You don’t want to end up in the same situation at your next job so how do you prevent making a lateral move?

· Save as much as you can before you quit. Without savings you will be in crisis mode and take the first job that comes your way, even it is just like the job you want to escape from

· Look for part-time or temp work to hold you over during job searching

· Don’t burn bridges (tempting as it may be)

· Consider your non-negotiables. No job is perfect, but what components are absolutely necessary for you to enjoy work?

· Have a growth oriented mindset. You may feel reluctant to apply for a job if you don’t meet every single qualification. Keep in mind that most skills can be learned with training and practice. Hiring managers appreciate candidates who are willing and eager to learn.

Summary

Your current job is only one point in your overall career, and it is worth thinking critically about whether or not it is serving your longer-term career goals. If you are unhappy at work but cannot leave remember that where you are now isn’t where you will always be. Examine what you dislike about your job and problem solve how to make it more bearable. If you feel ambivalent about whether to leave think about your values and name what matters most. Give yourself permission to quit that which does not serve you. If you are planning to leave, take care of practical matters, such as putting aside savings and quitting in a professional manner. Distinguish between preferences, and absolute needs in a job.

Regardless of the situation you are in, please treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Your job is what you do, not who you are as a person.

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